Manners Matter: Table Edition

Today my daughter is having an etiquette brunch at school. What a timely lesson as we enter the holiday season of formal dinner parties and business celebrations! Here are 25 lessons for you to take with you as you celebrate these festivities:

Lesson 1: Wait for older person or guest of honor to sit first. If you are a boy, wait for women and girls to sit first. This is less important at family meals, but very nice to do at someone else's house.

Lesson 2: Boys should hold the chair for an older person or guest of honor. On special occasions, boys may want to hold for their mother as well. To do this, place BOTH hands on the chair and pull it out and slightly to the left, so the person you are seating can ease into it. Hold the chair as you push it slowly toward the table.

Lesson 3: Do not drink water or pick up your napkin until grace has been said.

Lesson 4: Say grace if you are asked to do so. Many times this honor is given to a guest. Bow your head and sit quietly while grace is said by someone else.

Lesson 5: Arrange your napkin shortly after you have been seated. Open it completely if it is a small napkin, only half way if it is a large one with the crease facing you. The napkin is spread across your lap.

Lesson 6: Place yourself a HAND'S WIDTH from the edge of the table.

Lesson 7: Pass serving dishes left to right. This makes it easier for a predominantly right-handed world.

Lesson 8: Use both hands to pass large or hot serving dishes. The person on the left may hold the plate while you help yourself, and you can do the same for the person on your right.

Lesson 9: Take reasonably small portions. Taking large portions looks greedy, and besides, the hostess will be flattered if you take seconds.

Lesson 10: Take some of every food that is served. If you don't like something, you can take a bite or two and then stop eating. Your hostess will understand and will be polite enough not to say anything to you.

Lesson 11: Wait until the hostess has taken the first bite before starting to eat. If she insists that everyone starts with out her, you may.

Lesson 12: Hold your utensils properly. Put them on your plate when you are not using them. Do not rest them on the table or half off and half on your plate.

Lesson 13: Do not mash or mix your foods together on your plate.

Lesson 14: PAT your lips with the corner of your napkin frequently. Do this when the mouth feels messy or before taking a drink so that no greasy marks are left on the glass. A napkin should never, under any circumstance, be used a substitute handkerchief.

Lesson 15: Wait until the food is cool enough to eat. Do not blow on it.

Lesson 16: Taste food before seasoning it. Add salt only in small amounts, taking care never to add so much that the cook feels like the dish is poorly prepared.

Lesson 17: Once you have put food on a utensil, eat it. Do not hold it in midair while you talk...or listen.

Lesson 18: If you leave the table during the meal, put your napkin in your chair.

Lesson 19: Do not discuss your food likes and dislikes during the meal. You never know what will be served next, and besides, a true posh person eats all kinds of foods.

Lesson 20: Do not pick arguments at the table.

Lesson 21: Do not discuss any subjects that might make others squeamish. Unseemly subjects include anything gory or violent; overly vivid descriptions of insects or reptiles; blood or medical procedures; or certain science experiments that you may be working on at school.

Lesson 22: Do not comb your hair or attend to your nails or do any other grooming at the table.

Lesson 23: If you burp, do so quietly into your napkin and then quietly say, "Excuse me."

Lesson 24: When finished eating, replace your napkin to your right, loosely folded. There is no need to refold it carefully.

Lesson 25: Push your chair under the table at the end of the meal.