Room to Grow

I cannot help but blog about a conversation at the breakfast table this morning between my hubby and me. First, let me just say it is amazing how differently men and women look at the world and all our responsibilities.

Our family might be in the situation where we will receive an increase of cash flow. I suggested to my hubby that we use this "extra" money for a lawn guy. He quickly adjusts his posture and said, "What?! Well, what if we used that money for a housekeeper?" I responded quickly and said, "OK!" We both broke out in laughter.

Now looking back on the conversation, when I said we should think about hiring a landscaper, what my hubby thought I suggested was that he was not pulling his weight in the household. What I really said was: "Honey, I know you work really hard and study even harder. Why don't we give that little chore to someone else, so you can focus on the family during your 'free time.'"

Communication is an art - sometimes it is concrete and other times it is abstract. It definitely adds animation to the marriage ;-)

Not In Vain

A fellow twitterer, @jrorci, posted a question recently: "Anyone taken a year off to find themselves or some such equivalent? If so, what did you find/learn?" My answer was easy - YES! Unfortunately, I could not write my answer in 140 characters or less, so here I am blogging about those lessons. ;-) I hope this will either inspire you to take a similar journey or apply at least one of these lessons to your life.

It was Spring of 1999, I was sitting in a class listening to a presentation about the atrocities happening to women and children in Serbia. My heart was moved and asked myself, "What am I doing with my life? I'm here in this class, but then what?" I have so much compared to others - good health, great friends & family, etc. After this class, I spoke with the presenter, and I asked him how I could help. He said, "Go!" I responded, "What?! Go?!" This interaction brings me to my first lesson.

Lesson #1: Pursue your dreams

Do not overthink things. Ask questions, seek wise advice and then make it happen. Passion is the greatest adrenaline we have. Within a month, I was on a plane to Macedonia helping refugees displaced by the Kosovo War.

Lesson#2: Don't put too much value on your things

After I returned home, I knew I would be back there soon. I sold all that I had except for a suitcase that fit all my belongings. It is amazing how emotionally attachment I was to my things, but also how liberating it was when I gave them up. I traveled back to Maecdonia and Kosovo three more times that year.

Lesson#3: Kindness and hard work will take you further than intelligence

By traveling overseas, I put my formal education on hold, but I learned more in that year than I could have ever learned in a book or a classroom. Albert Einstein said it well, "Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.” Eventually, I received my BS in Global Business 5 years later.

Lesson#4: A hug can heal all wounds and break down all barriers

I was nervous about working with refugees - one reason being that I did not speak the language. I learned that a lot of the women and children there just wanted to be heard. They wanted my compassion. They did NOT need the “Everything is going to be okay” speech from me. A hug spoke more than words could ever could.

Lesson#5: When you empower people, they subsequently empower you.

In the end, these women and children helped me learned more about myself than they will ever know. I also met my husband during this journey. He shared the same passion and ideals, and we hope to be serving again in the same capacity soon.

*Remember - Your actions now create memories that you will reminisce about for the rest of your life.*

Before I go, I will leave you with the poem titled "I Shall Not Live In Vain" from American poet Emily Dickinson:

“If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain.
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.”

Honest Scrap Award

I received the honor of being given the "Honest Scrap" weeks ago from Carrie Anne (@cbadov) at Another day, another thought. She is an avid blogger, and I only wish I could be as dedicated.

So as recipient of this honesty award, I now need to tell you 10 truths about me:

1. I don't like chocolate. Yes, I said it. I live in a household of chocoholics, but I would choose chips & salsa over dessert.
2. I love traveling and people watching. There is so much you can learn about a culture from just watching people and listening.
3. Even though I've heard I'm a great cook, I wish I did it more. I'm too lazy to plan out a menu, go to the market and prepare it at home, even though my family always gives BIG SMILES when I do it.
   
4. I'm truly blessed with the best husband a woman could have! He was an unexpected candidate, but one of my best life choices.
5. The best part of pregnancy for me was feeling my babies move inside of me - instant bond!
   
6. I don't think every baby is cute. Fortunately, mine are beautiful ;-)
7. I question my mothering skills more than I'd like. I want the best for my kiddos, and in the end, I hope I am giving it to them.
   
8. I enjoy reading people's statuses and perusing through pictures on Facebook, Flickr & Twitter.
9. I am not a writer or a photographer, but if I had more time, I wish I could put more energy in these areas.
   
10. I wish I had a job where I could stay home and get paid. I like the challenge of business, but I love the comfort of being home and watching my kiddos grow up.
    

And now I forward this award onto the following bloggers (for them to reveal some truths to us too):

• Jamie (@JamieBolerjack) from Bolerjack Clan
• Paige (@paigemccoysmith) from The Not So Perfect Parent
  
• Maria (@BOREDmommy) from Mommy Maria
  
• Tatiana (@averygoodyear) from A Very Good Year
  
• Melanie (@modernmami)from Modern Mami

Baby Registry - What You Really Need

"What do I need to buy for my baby?" "What brands do you recommend?" "What could you live without and what are you glad you had?" These are the questions I often get from new mommies and daddies who are entering the world of parenthood. After reading a blog from a fellow twitterer, I finally have decided to blog about what I think you need and what brands provide the best buy for you and your baby :-)

Before I begin, I want to thank my best friend, Vanessa, for helping me prepare for my babies. She gave me a lot advice and wisdom, and so I hope to pass it along to you. Let me begin with car seats, this of course is one of the most important since your baby cannot leave the hospital without one :-) I have tried a few brands - Britax, Costco, and Graco. The best infant seat is Britax. It has won many safety awards, and it has stylish prints. It might cost a little bit more, but well worth it for the peace of mind.

Next comes the complex area of strollers. There are so many types, weights, looks and prices of strollers that you can become overwhelmed. First, I would NOT recommend the travel systems. We never bought one, but my friends who did ended up buying something else because they felt it was too bulky. I would recommend a car seat stroller. They are cheap, light and compact. After the baby could hold up his head, we bought an upgraded light stroller. After carrying around the infant seat, I was ready for something light and easy to travel, and the Maclaren strollers were just that for our family. We originally had an all-terrain stroller, but I needed an SUV just to transport the stroller, so I ended up selling it. Personally, I am all about convenience :-)

In our family, mommy and daddy carried their own diaper bag. I had my stylish Kate Spade bag while my hubby enjoyed his Diaper Dude. Having your own bag is less stressful for you and your family - take it from me ;-) My hubby also wanted to have a baby carrier. He used it a lot especially when we took walks through the park and the zoo. It is so easy to use when traveling instead of bring the stroller. The Baby Bjorn is the one we had and loved!

Finally, for the first two months of our kiddos' lives, we use a co-sleeper next to our bed. I am too lazy to get up out of bed and do late-night feedings. After our babies slept through the night, the kiddos moved to their own rooms. For the kiddos' rooms, I would recommend a convertible crib, a changing table and a glider. We chose neutral furniture that our kiddos would grow into, so we did not have to buy furniture at each childhood milestone. I consider myself a savvy shopper, and I hope these tips will help you as your prepare for your bundle of joy!

House of Buxton

As I type this post, I hear the washer and dryer cleaning and drying clothes. I've always wondered how 2 little people could increase my laundry duties by ten-fold. Laundry before kiddos was so different - it was an activity that I might do while I watch a movie. Now, it is a all-day or weekend activity, which made me wonder why.

Then, it hit me...my daughter wears a couple of outfits A DAY. She has her morning outfit, which she wears indoor as she watches cartoons and enjoys breakfast. This usually is a stylish t-shirt with leggings. Next, comes the outdoor wear. She insists that she does not want to "ruin" her other clothes while playing outside. This means she will want jeans, a plain t-shirt and a sweater or jacket depending on the temperature. Finally, after her afternoon nap, she likes to wear either her morning outfit or a new dressier one, so she could look nice when daddy gets home. At this time, she will include a barrette or cutesy hair accessory. Okay, now you see why I have piles of laundry just from one "posh" child. When should kiddos start doing laundry? Ha! ;-)

* BTW, it is true when "they" say boys are low-maintenance. The only reason my boy will want a new outfit is when his current one is too dirty, and usually I'm the one insisting on changing it, so I do not have clean up after him ;-) *

My daughter's wardrobe is not the only place where she has an opinion - SHOPPING! She is truly "my" daughter. For Easter this year, she picked out the outfits for all of us. I was looking for outfits that would not break the bank. After looking in department stores and other smaller boutiques, we stumbled into Children's Place where she found the outfits. I wanted something to coordinate, but not entirely match. Voila! She picked out the dress and found her brother's shirt within minutes. The cost was within reason, and the rest is history.

Yves Saint Laurent said it well, "Fashions fade, style is eternal." I do not want to crush her sense of style because of the burden of laundry. But, I cannot wait for her to start contributing to these duties ;-)












The kiddos' outfits are from www.childrensplace.com - the place where style and practicality meet!

How to Help Stay-at-Home Parents

I was flipping through channels and stopped on an interview of Dr. Laura Schlessinger speaking about her new book called "In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms." Love her or hate her, she wrote a list that was right on. I'd like to add stay-at-home dads to the list, though, because they are working just as hard as moms.

5 Things Dad's Can Do to Help Stay At Home Moms

• Cut out complaining or bragging
• Find something to compliment about the home
• Find time to talk to your wife as "your woman"
• Brag about your wife and kids in her presence
• Provide break or "girl" time for your wife

Even though I stay at home with the kiddos with no monetary compensation, it is the best job I have ever had! Benjamin Franklin once said, "He that is of the opinion money will do everything may well be suspected of doing everything for money."

Happy Good People Day 2009

Recently, as a hobby away from the kiddos, I have been exploring social media. On my journey, I came across a dynamic Internet celebrity named Gary Vaynerchuck. Today for the second year, Gary is dedicating this day to praising the people that are awesome and good - the people that have helped you become who you are, or the people that have shaped your approach.

Unfortunately, I am not a video blogger – I have no Web cam, and if I did, I would not know how to use one, so today I write to you. The person who is awesome and good is NOT a blogger, NOT a Twitterer and currently does NOT even have Internet access. Her name is Polly Jeanne Lewis, and she is my paternal grandmother.

The reason I honor her is because she has shaped the way I raise my children and approach life. When I think about a motherhood, my grandmother, grandmommy to me, always comes to mind. I asked her for one piece of advice as I was preparing to have my first child, and she said: "Your children will come into your household, and they will leave when they are adults, but you hubby will be there the whole time. Don't forget about him." Those words resonate in my head still. Social media is amazing - I can blog about what it is like being a mommy, and I can stay connect with old friends and meet new people through facebook and twitter, but at the end of the day, it is my hubby that is by my side.

Another piece of wisdom that my grandmommy told me was to ALWAYS forgive people even if you do not know why they did what they did. Complaining and bickering only produce the fruit of bitterness, but forgiveness gives you power and freedom. Life can move at a fast pace, but sometimes it is nice to stop and smell the roses with special people like my grandmommy and just listen to how awesome and good they are.

As an adult and a mother, I have come to appreciate the wisdom of my elders. The lessons I learned from my grandmommy, I hope, have carried over into my life to be passed on to my children. I encourage you to have a chat with your grandparents, and just LISTEN. They have such great stories about where they came from and what the world has become. Today I honor my grandmommy for Good People Day, and I am thankful for wisdom and advice!